Christmas with Bogart, Bette and two blonde bombshells

In which G.M. Norton gets in the spirit of Christmas.

Well, chumrades, we're almost there. After a month-long build-up where we literally count down the days (well, count up), Christmas Day is but a few hours away. 

Of course, Christmas is about celebrating the birth of a great man born on 25th December. As I'm not religious, naturally the great man for me is Humphrey Bogart. Happy birthday, Bogie, old thing.

Christmas has to be my favourite time of the year, where you are positively encouraged to eat, drink and be merry.

The Christmas tree is now up and adorned with decorations, after a little help from Jimmy Stewart and friend.

My two daughters are both super excited in anticipation of Santa Claus delivering what they hope will be an enormous pile of presents. It really is lovely to experience the magic of this special time of year. I'm hoping to meet the big man myself this year, as he's something of a hero in these parts.

Aside from all the presents and celebrating Bogie's birthday, Christmas is about being around the people you love. So it was especially pleasing that both Jayne Mansfield and Diana Dors rang my doorbell in the last couple of days. It would seem that my homemade mince pies bring all the girls to the yard. 

Diana was transfixed by the size of the baubles on the tree. I couldn't take my eyes off them either.

Even Bette Davis couldn't resist popping by. Doesn't she look delighted with her gift? I do hope she likes her musical Christmas jumper, with matching mittens. 

I especially adore all the little traditions that we follow every Yuletide. For instance, Christmas isn't Christmas without indulging in a little piano playing while people stand on ladders behind you.

However you celebrate Christmas, I wish you a splendid one. 

G.M. Norton

Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'

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