Five word film reviews

In which G.M. Norton offers startling insight.

I’ve been watching a lot of films recently. As I get older, I’m finding that my concentration levels are becoming more and more abysmal. If I’m going to commit to sitting in front of the idiot’s lantern for anything more than half an hour, then I need somebody to accompany me.

Thankfully, I have my beloved for such things.

I must confess, she has only agreed to watch a handful of the films that we’ve now enjoyed together. For the others, she has said that she would read her book or “half watch” (no, I’m not sure either). But having been together for more than eleven years, I know that if she is sat next to me reading a novel, albeit on one of those popular electronic book devices, she will get distracted and then drawn into the film.

In the last couple of weeks, we’ve enjoyed treats including It Happened One Night (1934), Double Indemnity (1944), The Enforcer (1951), Sabrina (1954), The Green Man (1956), and Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961). Alas, the run was broken when The Brass Monkeys (1948) failed to provide enough reason for my beloved to not retire to the bedchamber. However, an early performance by Terry-Thomas (playing himself), managed to sustain your favourite protagonist to continue until the bitter end. It wasn’t one of the best films I’ve watched, but it had just enough.

Netflix is a good source of classic film’s from yesterday but I’ve recently been trawling through the listings on Talking Pictures TV. If you’re in Blighty and haven’t come across it before, this is a freeview channel. Films are shown at all times of the day so recording is certainly my preferred option.

I thought I would offer a five word film review (well, statement) of each of the titles mentioned.

It Happened One Night

Starring Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert

Review: Limb is mightier than thumb

Double Indemnity

Starring Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray

Review: Fantastically enticing femme fatale, baby

The Brass Monkeys (also known as The Lucky Mascot)

Starring Carroll Levis, Carole Landis and Herbert Lom

Review: People really give a monkeys

The Enforcer 

Starring Humphrey Bogart

Review: Flashbacks lead to tense ending

The Green Man

Starring Alastair Sim, George Cole and Jill Adams

Review: Vacuum salesman saves the day

Sabrina

Starring Audrey Hepburn, Humphrey Bogart and William Holden

Review: Important health and safety messages

Breakfast at Tiffany’s 

Starring Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard

Review: True love in triumphant victory

A number of actors and actresses appear in more than one film. Namely Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn and Terry-Thomas. Now I've watched Double Indemnity and Sabrina, it's made me want to seek out more films directed by the marvellous Billy Wilder too. If you have any recommendations, do let me know.

G.M. Norton

Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'

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