Timex, gentlemen, please

In which G.M. Norton hails the humble Timex Weekender.

Some time ago, I put together a Chivalric Code, containing ten ways to be the perfect gentleman. Number eight was quite simple - to be punctual.

I must confess, this is the one that I struggle with the most. You see, I've always preferred an idle stroll to a brisk walk. Without pointing the finger of blame as it is ultimately my responsibility, children also have a habit of slowing the pace somewhat.

That's why a watch is so important. After all, one must know precisely how many minutes one is late. 

I'm the proud owner of three pocket watches, yet possess only three wristwatches. A paltry effort, I'm sure you agree.

Thankfully, one of the wristwatches is a Timex Weekender. 

It is a very affordable timepiece at the £35 mark. I'm sure many horologists would guffaw at putting such a lowly watch on their wrists. I would absolutely love a Rolex or Omega but alas, spending thousands of pounds on such an object would give my bank manager a funny turn.

My Timex Weekender boasts a cream fizzog giving it a vintage feel. A white face can be more commonly found, along with a rather glorious black version, which I've been tempted to add to my pitiful 'collection'.

The wonderful thing about the Timex Weekender is that it is so blasted versatile. You simply slide off the NATO strap and replace with another in just a few seconds.

This allows you to coordinate your watch strap with your outfit. My watch came with five straps and I've since bought a further four straps from the delightfully named, Monkey Swag.

The five straps that came with the watch were red, white and blue; red and blue; green; blue; and orange and navy.

My four additional straps are green and black; pink and black; red, purple and pink; and my most recent purchase, a brown leather G10. The nylon NATO straps at Monkey Swag are priced from £5 to £10, with the leather strap good value at £12.

The Timex watch case is only 38mm in size, so not one of those gargantuan beasts that you see dangling from the limp wrists of footballers (no wonder they suffer injuries so easily).

As the watch is so affordable, you don't need to worry about it getting knocked. 

The other bonus is that the Timex features it's quite magnificent Indiglo light-up feature. Simply press and hold the button and the watch will glow in the dark.

Of course, the Timex Weekender is not perfect but then, very few things are, chumrades.

The quartz movement contained within makes an absolute racket. I'm quite sensitive to noise and to be fair, I don't particularly notice it in normal surroundings. But when it is time to retire to the old bed chamber, the incessant ticking permeates an otherwise quiet room. 

It was actually my beloved who commented on the noise and insisted that I retire the Timex inside a storage box each night. Now, I wonder if there's something that can be done about that other loud noise - my snoring...

G.M. Norton

Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'

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