In which G.M. Norton attends the social gathering of the year.
Having cultivated a stonker of a moustache and
joined the prestigious Handlebar Club, I was invited to their annual general
meeting (AGM).
Each year, the Club visits a different part of the
United Kingdom for their AGM, and this year, the setting was the beautiful spa
town of Buxton in Derbyshire.
So last weekend, a group of sixty men, women and
children invaded the historical northern town for a rambunctious affair.
I had a marvellous old time, meeting some highly interesting characters, including members from far-flung places including Sweden, Switzerland, Kent and Canada. I must confess, it was rather surreal at times being surrounded by chaps sporting highly impressive lip weasels, whilst ensconced in very dapper ensembles.
Pictorial courtesy of Dan Sederowsky |
We stayed in The Palace Hotel, an impressive
Victorian building set in lovely grounds. As funds were low at the time of
making reservations and the distance from home to Buxton was a little over an hour’s
drive, I opted to just stay on the Friday night rather than both Friday and
Saturday.
Pictorial courtesy of Laszlo Thoth |
At 6 o’clock on the Friday evening, the Club members
held the meeting to discuss all manner of important matters relating to the Club
coffers, membership fees, any committee changes and lots more things that are
far too top secret to reveal.
Pictorial courtesy of Dan Sederowsky |
Then on the Saturday, our Club Secretary,
Mr Steve Parsons, organised a visit to a cavern, before the local taverns were
hit upon en masse by thirsty Club members.
Pictorial courtesy of Mr. Russell Youles |
If tweed, moustaches and lashings of alcohol and
laughs are your thing, I would highly recommend growing a nose neighbour and
joining up! The Handlebar Club currently only has male members but there is
nothing in their rulebook to stop hirsute ladies from becoming fully paid up.
Pictorial courtesy of Mr. Ryan Pike |
If you are not able to grow an over-sized soup
strainer, perhaps encourage your loved one to rise to the hairy challenge and
join the party as a plus one.
Next year, I plan to stay for the whole weekend and
make the most of it, bringing my beloved to join in the fun and frolics. I
can’t wait!
G.M.
Norton
Protagonist of ‘Norton of Morton’
Protagonist of ‘Norton of Morton’
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