In which G.M. Norton risks his life and lives to tell the tale.
I enjoy the daily ritual of a wet shave so
when The Bluebeards Revenge pressed my hand with the offer of testing out one
of their shaving sets, naturally, I was only too happy to oblige.
The Bluebeards Revenge describe
themselves as "the ultimate shaving experience for real men". As a real man (as
opposed to those pretend ones), I jumped at the suggestion of trying out the shavette kit, which is
basically a cut-throat razor. After all, dear reader, you
are worth risking my life for.
The shavette kit duly arrived in a box
emblazoned with the company’s distinctive skull and crossbones design.
Generally, one is advised from an early age to be wary of things marked in this
way, but like many children, I was rather fond of pirates during my formative
years.
Upon opening the box
(or plundering the treasure, if you feel so inclined), I discovered that the kit
comprised of a 100ml tub of luxury shaving cream, a 100ml tub of post shave
balm, the all-important shavette ‘cut-throat’ razor and a Doubloon bristle
shaving brush.
I will now reveal my
findings for each item in turn.
Over recent months, I’ve
switched my allegiance from shaving creams to shaving soaps, but it was like
revisiting an old chum at the club. A small amount of cream provided a full rich
lather and what’s more, it didn’t dry out, which some creams have a tendency of
doing. A pleasing smell too.
Post shave balm
To date, I’ve never
been one for post shave balms. I usually splash a little Bay Rum aftershave on
or use the remnants of the lather on my brush, giving my face a final coating
before rinsing with cold water.
After using this post
shave balm though, I’m converted. It left my skin feeling reinvigorated and the
old nostrils certainly approved of the scent. As did my beloved, who raced to my
face quicker than a war horse at the sound of the bugle. A reaction like this
is not to be sniffed at, chumrades. Or perhaps it is.
Interestingly, it contains a blend of ingredients referred to as ‘Decelerine’, which claims to reduce beard growth, over an extended period of time. Naturally, I can’t comment on this after a fortnight of shaves.
Shavette
Made of the noblest of plastics, the
shavette is a tool to be treated with the utmost of care. The bolshy upstart cousin
to the straight razor, the difference being that the shavette uses disposable
razor blades (snapped in half), whereas a straight razor must be stropped and sharpened.
Despite the impending doom of scraping
an open razor blade onto my face, the biggest snag I encountered was that it
was dashed difficult to affix the infernal razor blade.
Heeding the instructional pamphlet, I snapped
the razor blade in half (which was actually quite simple), but found the
tricky part was closing the blade holder over the open blade.
After struggling for a few minutes, I did
what any Englishman would do. I paused briefly with a cup of tea and some
homemade biscuits before having another whack at it.
Once it was all tickety boo, I was
ready for my first excursion along the rocky path of the shavette.
You may not get the luxury feel of
some of the more expensive cut throats on the wet shave market but at least it provides
one with the chance to decide whether cut throat shaving is for you.
There is a definite skill involved.
It’s not in my nature to fly off half-cocked, as it were so before
putting blade to skin, I conducted a little research on OnesTube. I’m jolly
glad I did as otherwise, I may have made a hooting horror of my face.
I am certainly interested in expanding
on my cut-throat shaving skills. After all, wounds do heal, even if you do
catch yourself with a juicy one on the neck.
Doubloon bristle shaving brush
It would be unfair to
compare this shaving brush to the Edwin Jagger or New Forest badger-haired brushes
that already form part of my shaving repertoire. Having used the Doubloon, I
would happily recommend it as a decent beginners brush or to have as a back-up.
Packaging
The Bluebeard’s Revenge
is aimed at men with facial hair that grows at a rate of knots. With its ‘Bum Fluff Brigade’ and ‘Not for girls!’ slogans, some naysayers may consider it to be a little immature, but as a
fan of tongue-in-cheek humour, I’m rather fond of The Bluebeards Revenge brand.
In a world of grey monotony, it’s a fun distraction. Plus, it makes me think of
the Disney caper, Blackbeard’s Ghost, starring the delectable Suzanne
Pleshette. Anything that stirs up memories such as these should only be
applauded.
Conclusion
Altogether I think it is a splendid
shaving set and I am sure I will use it many times as part of my morning
routine. If I’d have to suggest an improvement then it would be the ease of blade
installation for the shavette. I was enormously impressed with the shaving
cream and post shave balm, as was my beloved. Perhaps it is for girls, after
all.
G.M. Norton
Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'
Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'
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