In which G.M. Norton gets his monocle steamed up by the Queen of Burlesque.
Welcome to the third instalment of the ‘Smouldering
sirens’ series run here at Norton of
Morton, where I grant admittance to a rather lovely lady.
Today’s lady in question and joining the fabled
ranks of Grace Kelly and Marilyn Monroe is none other than the Queen of
Burlesque herself, Miss Dita Von Teese. By an enormous stroke of luck, today marks
her forty-first year of stylish living.
As often seems to be the case with the famous people I admire (Grant, Caine, Monroe, T-T), ‘Dita Von Teese’ is of course a stage name. Born as the still rather interestingly named Heather Renée Sweet, Miss Von Teese adopted ‘Dita’ in tribute to silent film actress, Dita Parlo.
Having achieved a
coveted cover appearance in a 2002 copy of Playboy and thus being thrust into
the spotlight, she was required to have a surname. Picking out ‘Von Treese’ from the telephony
directory, the Playboy Proof Checker failed to spot that they had misspelled it
as ‘Von Teese’. No doubt they were distracted
by the pictorials. I’d wager this wasn’t the only time this particular siren
has steamed up a monocle.
It’s nearly impossible to overstate Dita Von Teese’s
beauty. With her powder-pale face, rouge lips and jet black, cascading locks,
she looks as though she has just stepped out from the golden age of Hollywood glamour.
Embodying the classic style of the 30s, 40s and 50s
starlets that she loves, Miss Von Teese has reawakened the glamorous, beautiful
and escapist world that is burlesque.
Miss Von Teese’s burlesque shows are elaborate affairs,
incorporating a gigantic powder compact, a clawfoot bathtub and of course, her
signature show feature of giant martini glass.
As Miss Von Teese is quoted as saying: “I advocate glamour. Everyday. Every minute”.
Hear, hear! What an inspiring woman.
If only young ladies had more role models today of this
ilk. Perhaps then we would not see such a decline in morals and manners, and
young women could confidently say “No” to orange fake tans, large hoop earrings
and the abomination that is leggings (and often transparent ones at that).
For this reason alone, it would be remiss of me not
to include Miss Von Teese as one of my Smouldering Sirens.
G.M. NortonProtagonist of ‘Norton of Morton’
I admire Dita a great deal. It is her influence that prompted me to act more lady like and start burlesque. She is a true inspiration to me, one I could not be without. A super post indeed!
ReplyDeleteCan't argue with that, she's bloomin gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteVery fake in my opinion. I like that she makes an effort but it is too contrived, too fake somehow. Doesn't seem like she is being unique in any way of her own.
ReplyDeleteSo many better.
Watched Gilda the other day. Will you do something on Rita Hayworth ever? She was an absolute beauty!
Your honesty is what sets you apart, ma'am - thank you. Regardless of authenticity, at least we can be thankful that Miss Von Teese has brought her style inspirations to a new and receptive audience.
DeleteI would be delighted to pen a little something on Rita Howarth. A most ravishing lady indeed. Do keep your eyes peeled for something over the coming months! If you have any more suggestions on this feature or any others, please do fire away.