Make your own moustache wax

In which G.M. Norton demonstrates how easy it is to concoct your own moustache wax.

Since growing an over-sized soup strainer, I have turned to the wonder of moustache wax to keep my prize specimen under control.

So far I have tried three wax purveyors; namely Captain Fawcett, Mr. King’s Marvellous Moustache Wax and Bounder. Of course, upon discovering recipes for homemade moustache wax, I was rather taken with the idea.

A good chum of mine on the Twittering Device, Mr.Ryan Pike, had the same idea and concocted his own moustache wax. Being a generous sort, he kindly sent me a supply of one of the key ingredients - beeswax. As if that wasn’t enough, my fellow Handlebar Club member also enclosed a handwritten note on purple parchment containing simple instructions to make said wax.

Moustache wax apparatus (and letter from Mr. Pike)

So earlier this week, I decided the time was right to take the bull by the horns as it were and have a bash at making my own ‘tache tamer. Here is the recipe, as supplied by Mr. Pike.

Moustache wax recipe

Try the following formula in an old saucepan:

• 3 parts beeswax 
• 1 part petroleum jelly 
• scent of your choosing (I plumped for Bergamot)

Gently, heat it in the pan until it all turns to liquid but do not let it boil – the wax melts at about 60 degrees! Pour into a suitable receptacle and then pop it in the fridge for an hour (tell the family about your plans to avoid possible consumption).

Warning: Do not drink

I must say, it was jolly simple to make. I had read about people using a bain-marie but as I don’t have one, I initially tried putting one saucepan on top of a slightly larger one. After a few minutes of melting, I decided it wasn’t working/lost patience and reverted to just the one saucepan.

From liquid to hard stuff in mere minutes

The following morning was like Christmas – I practically jumped out of bed to try it out. And I must report that although I can see room for improvement, I am pleased with my first attempt. As is my way, I’m sure I will tinker about with the formula, perhaps adding a little oil and using different scents depending on my mood. Marvellous stuff.

Mind whirling

So there you have it – this homemade excapade has set my mind whirling about what to make next. Oh dear, the family kitchen may never be the same again.

G.M. Norton
Protagonist of ‘Norton of Morton’